Understanding

What I need from you is understanding straight from the R& B group Xscape. I feel this is one area that is hardly discussed when a man and a woman just start dating. There are too many assumptions that are formed and not enough verbal communication. Throughout this 4th post of Why do we play games we will touch on the commonly made mistakes of courting, the lack of Understanding!


The definition of understanding is a state of cooperative or mutually tolerant relations between people. When you have a good understanding of things or situations expectations can be set. From past relationship experiences I find being on the same page to be important. Yes, physical attraction is what most of the time that pulls two people together but with understanding the two can go a lot further. Even if it doesn't go that far there aren't hard feelings because an understanding was established. 


The most common mistake is that no expectations are set in the beginning. Sitting down with the other person to see where he or she head is. Instead we invest time and energy into someone and not knowing what the other person expects. This happens all the time and can cause a serious conflict. While it is important to ask questions during the 1st couple of conversations time to time. Another common mistake is the failure to ask certain questions. How old are you? Do you have kids? Who do you work for? These are all important and common questions but, there are some that are left out. What are you looking for or, if you are looking to be with anyone right now? Basically I'm saying to be sure you are both on the same page. That's the only way a team can reach the top. Now you have to keep your eyes open because there are those who are out there who will play on your emotions. For instance, an individual who knows when you two begin dating what they want and how they will go about getting it. This goes for both men and women its those that are out with motives. So be sure you take time out and think about how the two of you can be on the same page or have an mutual UNDERSTANDING!


These are my thoughts!
B-Bailey

Emotional Rollercoaster

   The definition of a rollercoaster is to go up and down; rise and fall. The definition of emotional is showing or revealing very strong emotions. The R& B artist Vivian Green expressed this very thought in a song. Lyrical content of this song was exactly the definition of these two words. In her song she states " Yesterday I told myself I was gonna be ok. Gonna start a new day, be truly happy I was gonna take control of me." Wow see how love is such a powerful tool that causes so many reactions to certain circumstances. In this blog we will discuss the highs and lows, the emotional reaction, and how to handle things in the future.


   1st with anything we do in life there are highs and lows to it. How can something that makes you so happy can make you so sad? How can someone you care about so much rip your heart apart? To answer the 1st question we are human whatever high you get in life and some point it must come down. The gravity is the force of attraction by which terrestrial bodies tend to fall toward the center of the earth. When someone is high off of crack and some point they must come down. More so like crashing more than anything from being so high. Thats were the saddness hits so hard from being in love. This once so caring and giving person who had you on cloud 9 has crushed and destroyed what y'all had.You can't fly forever but you can always get back up there. 


   Secondly, the emotional reaction of situations either leads to a person not dealing with you anymore or cause big trouble for you. How so B-Bailey? Well I'm glad you asked. So your feelings are hurt from this loving person were you feel like you will feel better when you destroy something this individual loves and own. Pay back, revenge is sweet, or feel my pain. No no no this can cause the Laws to come into your life and now you are dealing with this issue or your ex for another year. Some people will go as far as killing their own kids or mate's kids. Love will have you wasting your time in court, spending money a lawyer, lose someone or something and seeing this person's new mate support them. Its just not worth it just think before you act. I know its hard when all you see is red.


   Finally, the best way to handle all of this is to put this battle in God's hands. He heals all and covers all wounds. Even tho some wounds need stitches, some hearts are shattered, or you emotionally destoryed God can fix it. Trust in Him you don't have go thru things alone when he is on your side. I have a tattoo on my chest that reads " IN GOD I TRUST". Fresh off of the dollar bill but it says we and everybody doesn't believe that. Believe in God's divine intervention and His ability but, remember to be patient. God may not come when you want Him but He's right on time. If you ask Him for what you need I know the Lord will answer.


These be my thoughts be blessed love y'all B-Bailey!!

Slow Down

Is it the ratio? Is it the dream? I ask these questions because I'm often left confused. Some women just simply look to move too fast. Hey there are some men too who are the same way. Everything that is done slower always comes out better. For example, you are in the kitchen frying some pork chops. You are in a rush so you have the fire higher then it should be. Next thing you know your chops look like its cooked from the burned corners. You take a bite of it and it starts to bleed. Its nasty no one wants to eat with the fear of being sick. So a week later you are in the kitchen back at it again. You place the pork chop in the pan fire is much lower and it takes twice as long to cook then it took the 1st time. Its good tasty and cooked right. I feel the same way about love, relationship, life.....

So that brings me to this question why rush? I know emotions is a beast when its all said and done. Take your time read into what you are getting into and think. We as men need to take time to think about situations we put ourselves in. I feel everything that is done in a natural way is real. Its not altered by man or influenced by mental conversation. There is this unwritten book that most men have not read yet. Rules and guidelines that were created by women not all but for some. If you don't then don't think I'm talking about you.

Ok now ladies you try to rush things at times. Some guys give you expectations in the beginning but the mistake is that you think you change him. You can't, he will only change what he chooses to change. If you are patient and understanding it will take you a long way. You just may find the one you are hoping for and vice versa for him. The less pressure on him the better the chance is for you.
Words of Wisdom
B-Bailey

Relationships

Looking at life and all the things that factor in brings this question to mind. I often think of how the world use to be and what it has come to. Now with that being said the heart is fragile like a glass vase. In the hands of the wrong one and its broken. Two, we as humans love to have our cake and eat it to. Which thinking with common sense isn't that how its suppose to be? The black culture we love to "keep it real". Really how real do we really keep it? What about when keeping it real goes wrong? So let's touch on what is the hardest thing to keep real "Relationships". Now for me I like to be open on where I am in life and where I'm trying to go. What I'm looking for and letting this happen naturally. I seems that women aren't patient and they want things when they want it. Not all but quite a few. See most will say they understand how you feel and can accept it in the beginning thinking they can change your mind. Not true!! That feeling is still there even though we maybe closer to one another. Then when you feel its time for it to happen there is a rush. Big mistake to think or feel that way. That is a flaw we have involving relationships. Rushing into things not getting to know one another or still having a sercet life behind the scenes. Deceivers and liars always form but if God isn't in the relationship how could be real? If the relationship is built off of what you buy for someone verse the mental aspect how can it survive? It won't because when hard times hit there is no mental stability just money and sex. Look the divorce rate is too high and money can't buy you love. My parents have been together for over 40 years I see the struggle and the love. I see how the hard times hit but it still survives. What is love? Do you believe in it? I do just learn from past encounters because experience is the mother of knowledge.

S/O to my lil sis Javetta Allen Mercadel she got me started on this and she is a dope writer. Check her out she's deep!!